Bran flakes
The “rockstar photo drawing post a week” is way behind schedule, but such is my way. Here’s a drawing of Gavin Rossdale I did when I was 11 (as I made sure to note on the drawing, it looks like)
Hopelessly cynical middle-schoolers, especially from small towns, go over last year’s yearbook and take comfort. Nobody looks good in middle school. That’s why the settings of hierarchy are so incredibly harsh, the ones on top are afraid of being found out.
As to the record that is very much still in progress, the drums are mostly laid down (2 or 3 tracks remaining in need of percussion), and I’ve been pulling my hair out over guitar sounds. I just never gave it that much thought before, the whole “tone” bit. Turns out it’s a huge deal. All I remember about recording guitar for “freshman year” (over 5 years ago, yikes) was that it always sounded too sharp for me, I wanted that elusive warm and present acoustic sound. I eventually gave up and just did what I could. Eventually I heard the perfect acoustic sound just a few months after this, on the Microphones’ “It Was Hot, We Stayed In the Water,” in the very first track. Wouldn’t you know it. It’s really in how he plays though, the hand playing must be sure of itself.
7:32 a.m. in Philadelphia, raining hard and I am the only one awake. Mark will be leaving in a few hours to play with Netherfriends at CMJ. I told him to get me some free shoes.
I am currently engrossed in the book “Innocent When You Dream: Tom Waits: the Collected Interviews.” It’s beginning to affect my dreams, as well as my preconceptions about how things are going for me as a musician, how I am failing (6 years ago I told my cousins that if I wasn’t making a living off of songwriting by the age of TWENTY TWO then I was a goner). I admit to the stupidity and fruitlessness of such thoughts. You can really make yourself crazy if you marry notoriety and respect with age. It’s a manner of self-torture. It’s what made Salieri wish for the death of Mozart.
I don’t mean to sound so obsessive over fame, I see the two-dimensionality of that, the smallness of it. But you get older and see your parents who worked to give you more time, and you wonder if you’ve really been doing what you’re supposed to do, serving something, been of use. It’s like that Smog song..
An interviewer asked Tom Waits if he knew all along that the public acclaim of his art was just a matter of time, to which he said, “You can’t really look in the mirror that much.” It’s the best piece of advice I can pass on, and try to follow.
Have a good day, alright? Don’t let high school ruin poetry. Avoid reunions if you can. And be generous.
Love,
Frances
